Reconnect Weekend Retreat
I turned 40 this year. I know, I know, I can hardly believe it myself. I never pictured myself at this age. Maybe I didn't think I would make it this far, or perhaps I never looked that far into the future, but the future is now and here I am.
My birthday gift to myself was to go to the Grounding Sista Circle Nature Retreat. You can read all about it here if you haven't read about my experience on the one-day retreat.
The weekend was scheduled for the week after my 40th birthday. I had been looking earlier in the year at Chopra retreats in Mexico. With their retreats starting from £5k, I wouldn't be going this year. As this retreat was significantly less in Kent, not far from home, I was booked and ready to go without hesitation.
A group of us were picked up from the train station on Friday afternoon which was just a short drive away to the beautiful barn house that would be our home for the next 3 days. Most of the ladies I had already met at the grounding day retreat, so there were only a few new introductions. We spent some time getting ourselves settled in and into our goody bags. Inside was a bottle of essential oil, a notebook, a crystal and a piece of African cloth. It was a nice start to be gifted with these gems that we would use during the weekend.
We had dorm-style rooms, and as I`ve lived alone for the last 10 years, this would be interesting. We picked out our beds and then had to make them up with clean bedding that was laid out. I picked a bed in the corner and got myself and my stuff set up.
We then met up in the main room and had a group session. Abi took us through the weekend schedule and introductions, and then we all had to share our expectations of what we hoped to get from the weekend experience. The sharing experience was great and helped you be more vulnerable when you know others are carrying just as much as you are. We then went for a tour of the estate and the beautiful lake. We were in such great surroundings and in even better company.
We ended the night with a vegan dinner (all the meals would be vegan) made by Chef Shani, who was also part of the group. I laughed so much and realised it had been a long time since I had been in a group company like this and that I was actually having fun.
When I realised this during the meal, I felt sad for myself but also grateful for the smile I could feel stretching over my face. After hanging out for a while, I was ready for bed by 9.30 pm. My iPhone would have also popped up the bedtime reminder, although I didn't need reminding. I was in bed not long after but knew I would not be falling asleep anytime soon. I plugged my headphones in and listened to a podcast. It took a while for me to go to sleep, which is normal, but it was more difficult because I shared a room with five other people.
Day 2 started early. I slept well but decided to miss the yoga session and had a lie-in. Although after a while, I regretted it and chastised myself mentally for not going along. Instead, I meditated using the Chopra app and then went for some alone time on the grounds. I wanted to do this early and have some solitude before joining in with the group sessions.
I came back feeling ready to start the day. I didn't have to wait long for the shower to be free, which was great timing, and I was at the table in time for breakfast. The food was soooo good. If I could eat Shani's food daily, I would easily be able to transition to a vegan diet. Although I don't think it would be healthy to have Kentucky Fried Jackfruit every day. Maybe just a few times a week :)
We headed out around 9.30 am for our North Downs walk and intention-setting session. Everything felt sacred. It’s hard to explain. It’s one of those shared experiences that only those that took part in or had a similar experience would be able to relate to. The walks, conversations, and sessions were where everyone shared what was on, and in their hearts, to the degree, they felt comfortable with. It was special and not something that I had experienced before in this way.
Being out and walking is one of my favourite things to do. The landscape was beautiful, and the air was so fresh and different from London. It's not until you are out of London that you realise the difference in the air quality.
It was quite an overcast day, and the rain held off, but this didn't affect our morning. We had a grounding session for some feet magic and then onto the intention-setting session. This was like sky vision boarding from the day retreat and I loved taking part in this even though I still felt self-conscious. I fully took part and made myself and my heart as vulnerable as possible. This was the part that I was looking forward to most, hearing my own and the group affirmations echoing back to us. It was like we were all witnessing each other release ourselves and our dreams into the universe. We ended the session by running down the hill we had just climbed together; some rolled down.
It was nerve-racking but empowering to say (shout) things into the universe and the North Downs. It feels more believable when you say something out loud, no matter how many times you say it silently inside yourself. Just so many of us keep our feelings and what is truly in our hearts to ourselves for fear of judgement. It made me feel like more sparks of myself were coming through.
Just a side note to say I wouldn't suggest to anyone to go around telling everyone all your hopes and dreams. But it is important to have people that you can share yourself with. I didn’t share everything, but I felt like I could share the things I did without regret and shared more parts of myself with these women I had only known a short time than I had shared with friends I had known for years. I hope that you find yourself in a circle of trust where you feel comfortable sharing the pieces of yourself that you keep hidden out of fear of judgement.
We had a bit of downtime at the barn before lunch and the essential oils session. I took this time to scroll through the bookcases. There were so many books, and I only had a short time to skim through them. One of the ladies had collected some wood and got the fire going. It was so cosy and relaxing I could have gone straight to sleep, but we had more activities scheduled for later that afternoon.
After another delicious vegan lunch, we went to the essential oil session. The oils did help me feel more centred during the meditation sessions. I went through them all and found a fragrance that resonated with me. It was good to learn more about the oils' healing properties and health benefits, which I found really interesting and it left me wanting to explore more.
There was a bit of downtime and massage sessions next. I had opted out of this during booking, so I used this time to get to know some of the ladies a bit more. I did catch up on a podcast too. We had an Erykah Badu playlist in the background, a diffuser and the fire going. It was such a cool vibe, and then the crystal session was next.
We had a crystal specialist join us called Anne Marie. I didn’t know much about crystals before, but I have one at home that a Reiki healer I`ve had a few sessions with gave me. I found it interesting, especially which ones were best for different areas of the body to aid healing. I decided not to purchase any more and would use the one that Abi had gifted me for now.
We all then wrapped our hair with our gifted cloth, followed by some singing and dancing (by some) and a new song for the retreat was created. We had dinner, and I still can’t believe how good vegan food can taste. I guess it’s like everything, and it's all in the seasoning. Then we were off for our evening activities, A night walk followed by drumming around an open fire and libation.
If you are unfamiliar with libation, which I wasn't either, this is a ritual where a liquid is poured out as an offering to a spirit or spirits. Water was taken from the lake earlier in the day and used as an offering to our ancestors.
It was emotional for many as we called out the names of loved ones that had passed away. There were tears, drumming (I even had a go) and more sharing of ourselves. We all supported each other around the fire, with love. It was surprising to me how much love was felt with people I had either met once before or just the day before. We were practically strangers and this made me even more emotional. I hadn't had that kind of connection so easily and in such a short space of time before. The knowledge that this is possible and to feel was overwhelming for me.
We had a group meditation session when we got back before we all went to bed. I didn’t sleep well that night. Not because I wasn’t comfortable but more because I was in my thoughts, and the room was also a bit noisier than the previous night. I also wondered if I would have more profound dreams that night. I listened to podcasts and woke up a few times before falling asleep. #dorm life
Our third and final day. I tried to remember my dream, and I didn’t. I meditated in bed and again skipped the morning yoga session. Lazy, I know. After showering and getting dressed, I joined the group in the main room, where we had herbal tea and chatted in front of the fire. I felt that today would go quickly and that we would leave before we knew it.
We had breakfast for the last time and went out for another grounding session for more tingling foot magic. Although it started cold, my feet sometimes felt like they were heating up. I hadn’t tried it since the nature day retreat. I thought to myself, would I do this when I got home? Would I be too self-conscious to do this on the green outside my house or in a park? Maybe I would give it a try when no one is around. Maybe.
Next up was the most memorable and moving part of the weekend. The intentional water was aligning. We all had a turn to go into the lake with Abi and release something that we wanted to let go of and also say something we wanted to bring into our lives. It was incredibly emotional.
There were tears, claps, hugs and words of encouragement. This was the most supportive environment I`ve ever had the privilege of being a part of. That we got to be that for each other was special; those moments will stay with me forever.
I knew I had made new connections and that some new friendships would begin. I have, over the past few years, been experiencing shifts in my friendships groups and am in a place now where I’m learning and trusting to embrace all things new that the universe may be bringing into my life, and also to let things go with grace and to give myself some too.
Lunch followed back at the barn, more massage sessions, and our last vegan meal. We then had an Adinkra card session to honour our ancestors as our weekend ended.
Our last session was to share and reflect on our time at the retreat. Everyone had space to share what they felt they received from the weekend and what they were most grateful for. It was so beautiful listening to everyone share the weekend's impact on them. It was a powerful experience for us all.
Unexpectedly I cried during my turn. I had not felt or experienced what I had felt this weekend before, and the emotions were too much for me to contain and made me feel even closer to everyone there. Although I hate crying publicly, It felt right to let it out and let the tears fall. I had no choice as they sprang out of my eyeballs without warning.
We packed our weekend bags, said our emotional goodbyes, and after many hugs, we left the barn as tidy as we found it. We all knew we would stay connected and see each other soon either at the next retreat or on the whats app group to which Abi had added us.
I left the retreat feeling emotional, inspired, connected, and a little tired. Feeling more connected to myself and to the other sistas in our grounding circle, I’m so glad this came into my life just as I entered my next decade and chapter.
When I got home, I was in my thoughts for a long time after unpacking, which lasted for days. I thought of my mum, my gran and all the women in my bloodline that had come before me. I try to think of my healing, growth and experiences not just for me but also as a release for them.
Our weekend retreat inspired talks of a retreat in Ghana, a country that I can’t wait to visit. In 2022 we will have our first International Reconnect Sista Circle Retreat, and I truly can’t wait. I`ve felt pulled towards Ghana for a while and can’t wait for the experience, the growth, and to share more with the ladies in the group. It’s one of the most important things I feel I can give to myself. I feel like I`m becoming more of myself, and I can’t wait to feel even more.